dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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