Whod you bang
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
