how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
