My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
