we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
