You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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