alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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