We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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