Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
