your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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