it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
