You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
