who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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