I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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