Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
