ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
