As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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