I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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