No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
