How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
