I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he shaved USA in his pubs
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
