you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You dont lie about slip and slides
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize