I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
