I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
