youre lurking in front of me
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
