so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
