I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Barsexuality is the new black.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
