I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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