I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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