Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
