my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
