Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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