Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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