yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
