Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
