Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
