writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
