I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my poor anus
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
