He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
