Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
