If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
