Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
