I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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