theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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