Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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