I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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