How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
