using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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