Define "chronic" masturbator.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
