how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
