And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
