oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
