if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
