he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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