no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
honey bunches of taint.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
