Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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