Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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