apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
