herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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