Nicole vs. Life
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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