How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
