She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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