i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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